April 11th!

Today is Monday and Paige is still fighting to hold on and stay alive, her heart rate is still very strong and her color is really good, the nurses and staff are just amazed at the Miracle of Paige and even though we aren't admitted any more they still come in to check on us and see Paige. Paige sure touched alot of the nurses and staff's hearts and changed them so much! My mom came back early this morning and decided because of my emotions last night and even still this morning she wasn't going to leave again until we went home, she felt like she needed to be there with us for the extra support and comfort we may have needed. When she arrived I told her that we were going to hold Paige all day long and not put her down because I felt like maybe she felt like we hadn't held her enough and that's what she was holding on for. I always got this feeling that she was hanging on for us for some reason and even though we kept telling her she didn't have to fight to stay with us that we understood she would be going with Jesus soon she still held on strong.Laura came again today to be with us for a couple hours and got to hold Paige some more. I had some complications with my recovery and was freaking out about it which was the total cause for my high emotions last night and this morning so when another one of my wonderful nurses figured out what was going on and fixed the problem my emotions drastically changed immediately and I said I'm going to relax and know that we are ok to be here as long as Paige is still alive and that from this moment on I'm not going to think about when she is going to be with Jesus I'm just going to enjoy her every moment with us. I also felt that Paige was looking out for her Mommy and didn't want me to go home with this medical issue and start planning her Memorial service and ignore the problem and end up in the ER so maybe that's why she was fighting to stay alive. It was amazing to see how a medical issue being solved could change my emotions so quickly. I had prayed the night before for God to give me peace and he definitely did at that point right there, I'm so thankful to know a God who answers prayers! Having Paige be born alive and living for so long are true miracles from God and we are so thankful for all the wonderful miracles we are seeing and have seen the whole pregnancy. My sister stayed at home with the girls today and kept Leilani with her because all the emotions were getting pretty intense being in the hospital room and we wanted the girls to be able to have some normal time at home. My mom stayed with us tonight and my dad came up in the evening for a little while and they went to dinner and brought us some pizza back for our dinner. My dad ended up leaving about 9pm and we got to bed a little earlier than usual. We had noticed that there was alot of different things going on with Paige that hadn't happened before now and I had read some of the things in other peoples stories of their babies with anencephaly like she was starting to get tears in her eyes and more seizures and she also slept with her mouth wide open all night long which might have been because she was having a harder time breathing, we knew she wasn't suffering and wasn't in pain so that helped but it was still beginning to get harder on us knowing we couldnt do anything for her but hold her and tell her how much we loved her and would miss her.