April 9th!

Today is Saturday and Paige is still living and has a really good high heart rate. I didn't sleep well last night just thinking about the not knowing of when she is going to pass. The un-known is way harder than we ever imagined it to be. All the family came back to be with us at the hospital today and we are all just hanging out in our huge hospital room passing around Paige. Since she has the heart rate monitor hooked up to her you have to sit in a certain seat to hold her now so the machine doesn't beep or her links don't come off! Sometimes while holding her the links move and the machine beeps but we just adjust them and her heart rate goes right back up. She loves to be held and you can totally see that by her heart rate which always goes up even higher while she is being held! I only bought her 2 outfits and had 2 hats made for her so I only had 1 for the hospital because we never thought we would need more than 1 for the hospital and 1 for the burial but we were wrong we have a strong little fighter with us so my sister is bringing some of Bellas preemie outfits and hats for Paige to wear because she shouldn't have to wear the same outfit everyday she is still with us. Thankful for my sister to allow us to use some of the cute things Bella only wore for a little while, so when we take pictures we can see and remember everyday that Paige was still with us. We are letting Nana and Auntie JoJo have alot of time holding Paige today because they are leaving to go back home tomorrow morning and won't be back until the Memorial Service. We all still can't believe Paige is still hanging on and so strong but are so happy for every moment we have with her. The lactation department brought me a breastpump to use because I am planning on donating to the Milk Bank to help preemie babies since Paige can't eat and I'm sure she would want to help other babies and use her milk. My best friend Marietta came back to the hospital today and spent about an hour with us this evening after alot of the family left and got to hold Paige for awhile again. My mom decided she would go home to sleep tonight because Jonathan was able to help me during the night and I didn't seem to need her for anything during the night like I thought I would. One of my wonderful nurses told me she would come in and check the monitor every hour without waking us so we could get some much needed sleep so I slept with Paiges lamb that Rose had brought to her and us and I slept so well, and my nurse just had to wake me up every 4 hours for ibuprofen and I would dose right back to sleep.